If you want to swing, but a club doesn’t sound like your scene, why not host your own party? It’s easier than you might think…

Over the past few months, we have been covering all the different aspects of getting into the swingers scene. Now we’ve got the basics covered, I’m going to talk about about how to go about running your own swingers party.

Parties, in my opinion, are one of the best things about the scene. Imagine a normal party, with everyone getting on and having a laugh, then add wild sex to the mix. You’ll never be happy at a normal party again.

Firstly, don’t panic, swingers parties are quite easy to organise, and they are totally different from what non-swingers expect them to be. The stereotypical image, rolled out in bad movie after bad movie, is where you pull someone’s keys out of a bowl, and you go off to have sex with them. As you might expect, this is rubbish. Would you like to have sex with someone you aren’t attracted to? No, me neither. There still has to be some attraction before you decide to have fun with someone else. Taking a random chance on the owner of a set of keys isn’t something most people will be up for, open-minded or otherwise!

You might also have heard that you have to get naked as soon as you get through the door. Well, this does happen, but the parties are usually clearly advertised as for the more experienced swinger. Normal house parties are usually much tamer, and cater for anyone from new swingers to the more experienced. Remember: no matter what sort of meeting you go to, you shouldn’t be pressured into anything you aren’t comfortable with.

What people often forget is that swingers don’t need to get drunk to have fun and lose their inhibitions. In fact, getting drunk gets in the way of having fun, no one wants brewers droop. Swingers parties are actually quite chilled,sex aside, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to run your own.

As we’ve already mentioned, there are various different types of swingers parties. The simplest is the social party, where no sex actually goes on at the party, but like-minded couples get a chance to socialise and arrange to meet other couples afterwards. On the other side of the scale, are the wild parties aimed more at the experienced swingers, where the doors are locked, and everyone who wants to strips down and the whole house turns into a roman orgy with bodies everywhere. They can be a great experience but I wouldn’t recommend trying to run one of these as your first party. In between are the sexy dinner parties, fetish fun and, of course, the simple house party.

The simple house party is the easiest to run and the most fun for the work in our opinion. Basically, they’re just the same as any normal house party, except you expect people to use your bedrooms for sex. From downstairs, they look like any normal party as this is where the socialising goes on.

Before you decide to run your party, you need to work a few things out. First, how many people can you fit in your home? How much parking is there? How close are your neighbours and what are they like? These are all questions you need to answer.

Generally, when we’ve run parties, a third of the people we invite don’t turn up. So we normally invite an extra third to make sure we have a good group. We recommend that you do the same. You also need to decide who you’re going to invite. Are you going to allow single guys or girls? We only invite couples, as we feel it’s simpler to organise and leads to less hassle on the night. Of course, if you’re running a greedy girl party (women who like multiple partners at once) then the number of single guys you invite will be more than the couples.

The other thing to decide is what age group you are going to invite. This may sound strange, but if you’ve only got room for ten couples at your home, then you’ll want to restrict the ages to around yours to make sure there’s more chance of people hitting it off. Ten years either way works well, but it’s only a guideline. If you’ve got room for twenty couples, then a broad range of ages isn’t so much of a problem.

It’s pretty easy to advertise your party both on and offline. Offline, the best way is to advertise in a magazine like this one. Simply put together an advert that gives your basic information, including type of party, region, age range and guest restrictions. When advertising in a magazine, it’s best not to say when the party is, just say that you’re running parties. Magazines have a month or two delay before being distributed, so if you’re advertising a one off event, there’s a good chance that the advert will go out after your party unless you plan well in advance.

Advertising online is much easier. Most major swingers websites have message boards for advertising your party, including mine. It’s not much different from a personal advert, simply talk about what you want to do, who you want to do it with, and when. Ask potential guests to send you some basic details, including ages, interests, and so on. Place your advert, making sure that you haven’t used a personal email address and that the details are vague enough that you can’t be identified, and wait for the replies.

You’ll have more replies than you have places, so sort through them and decide who you’re going to invite. Some invite the wild couples, or the people nearest to them, as there’s more chance of them turning up. It’s up to you what criteria you set. We prefer to invite those we think we could have a laugh with, without the sex. This way we know the party is going to have a good atmosphere, and the sex soon follows. Although it’s good to have a party virgins, keep it limited. If there are too many newbies, it can get a bit awkward.

We don’t let the guests know the exact location of the party until a few days before. Depending on whether we hire somewhere or use our home, we’ll use different methods. If we’re hiring somewhere, like a country cottage, then we’ll send a map and directions by email. If we’re holding a smaller party at home then we ask for the home addresses of the guests and send them by normal mail. It’s only fair to know the home addresses of our guests if they are going to know ours, and most couples don’t have a problem with this. If they do, we don’t invite them: it’s not worth the hassle.

Before we get into actually getting ready and running the party, we should talk about the legal side of swingers parties. In the past, hosts have become the victims of unwanted media and police attention. Charging and even taking a bottle to a party was considered payment in kind, and could lead to police attention. Nowadays the police and media are rarely interested in house parties. Obviously, you want to stay on the right side of the law, just as we do. We normally include this paragraph with our adverts and invites:

“Payment is for entrance only, we neither supply nor guarantee sex, and any sex that goes on is between consenting adults with no fees paid to either party.”

Essentially, this states that you are not running a house of ill repute (a brothel) and that nobody at the party is getting paid for providing sex. It’s the basis that all swingers clubs run on: you’re paying for the club membership, not the sex.

Getting back into the swing of things, before you can actually hold a party, you need to prepare your house. First, decide which rooms are for sex and which are out of bounds. Prepare a few simple signs – no smoking or drinks upstairs, out of bounds, etc – and put them up where appropriate. Get some plastic bedsheets for the beds (some women squirt and you don’t want a soaking bed). Make sure there are tissues and a waste bin in each playroom. Some couples, including us, provide a few condoms next to the bed, just in case, but it’s up to you.
Downstairs, not much needs doing. Clear away clutter, remove anything that could be broken, and free up some space. Put on a bit of mood music. Some hosts like to put a porn movie on, but we find it a bit distracting, so we leave it off unless the guests ask for it. Remember to remove any personal photos from the rooms (like the kids).

It’s always helpful to lay on a small buffet. Don’t bother with anything too complicated (they’re not coming for the food), and avoid garlic and onions.

That covers preparing your home. Obviously, you can do a lot more, but these are the essentials you should consider as a bare minimum. Running the party is the easy part! We always work on the assumption that we’re not planning to swing. That way, if we don’t get a chance, we’re not let down. Good hosts ensure their guests are happy before they let their hair down, and running the party can be as much fun as going as a guest. You’ll find your time taken up by all the party jobs: trying to relax the newbies, getting the shaggers to unlock the toilet door as there’s a queue forming, and so on!

We use a closed door policy, where after a certain time no more guests are admitted, unless they’ve called us in advance. This means guests know no one else is going to come through the door and that they can settle and start having fun.

When it comes time to end the party, let the guests know well in advance. Often guests will wind down on their own, and there aren’t many who can carry on into the wee hours. We recommend you say your goodbyes inside, so you don’t disturb the neighbours. All that’s left is to clean up, which is generally a much quicker job than at a ‘normal’ party. More often than not, the last few guests will lend a hand with this, too. Don’t forget to contact your guests afterwards to make sure they had a good time, and hopefully invite them to your next one.

Running your own party is as simple as that. We really hope that you give it a go, and if you’re running one in North Shropshire or nearby, send us an invite!

As always, have fun and play safe, always practice safe sex.

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Have fun, luv Mel xxx