In last month’s article, we covered going to clubs and parties, which are great, as you don’t need to do much preparation before going. The downside of clubs and parties is that you never really know who’s going to be there, and if they are going to be your type of people.

If you’ve been to a few clubs or parties, and you haven’t met the right couple yet, then it might be time to consider private couple-to-couple meets. You can approach this in two ways, either by replying to someone else’s advert, or by coming up with your own. In this article, I’ll cover the best ways to advertise yourselves, both on- and off- line, to make successful contacts. Placing an advert can be an ideal way to find the right partners for you, rather than browsing adverts searching for the right people.

Before actually placing your advert anywhere, you need to talk. It’s important that you both understand what you are advertising for and what you want to get out of it. Be clear with each other. Are you looking to full swing or soft swing? Is it only the girls who’ll be playing, with their partners watching? Once you’ve talked it through, and you both know what you want, update your rules, so both of you know your boundaries and don’t overstep the mark, which could seriously damage your relationship.

There are various ways you can advertise yourselves both with and without a pc. These include using Internet sites, chat rooms, contact magazines and local papers. We’ll cover the online methods first, and then go on to the offline methods.

The net is filled with hundreds of swingers sites from all over the world, the majority designed to make money. A lot of these are huge member databases with different front ends, to make them look different. What is common amongst virtually all the sites, is that placing an advert is free (they normally charge to reply to adverts to make their money), but the first places to advertise are my website – www.melanies-uk-swingers.com – and this magazine’s website: www.swingmag.co.uk

How successful your advert will be in finding the right people for you will depend on what you put in it and what you are looking for. Coming up with an advert can be difficult, so you need to make sure that you include the following information: your play names, ages, sexuality of both partners, location, physical descriptions, likes, dislikes and fantasies. This will build a picture of who you are. The next thing you need to do is explain who you are looking for. Describe your perfect couple, ages, size, sexuality etc. This will help to reduce the amount of replies you get from swingers who aren’t your type. Remember that if you are looking for a single girl to join you and your partner, it is likely to be more difficult, as there aren’t as many single girls in the scene.

A word on single males. If you’re looking for a single male or males to join you, be specific about who you want. We once advertised for a single guy, and we got over a thousand replies in less than a day, so be specific: don’t worry, you’ll still get plenty of replies from the type of guys you’re looking for.

Once you’ve described yourselves and the type of swingers you’re looking for, the last thing is to cover the logistics. When are you available to meet? Where? Your place? Their place? A hotel? How far are you willing to travel? Once you’ve done that, it’s time to read through your advert, have you missed anything important? Does it describe you and what you’re looking for?

Do not use phone numbers in adverts, as you may get malicious calls from people who have nothing better to do. Remember, you can always send your number by email when you want to talk on the phone, but make sure you only ever send your mobile number. Also, make sure you use an anonymous email address, like www.hotmail.com, and not one easily traced back to you.

Once you have read through your profile few times and are happy with the text, it’s time to add your photos. On the net, adverts with photos get viewed ten times more often than those without. Pictures should be well lit, in focus, and should show what you really look like. Your photographs don’t have to be all of you naked, although it is quite nice to have a few. Nice sexy shots, showing off your best features, are just right. It’s fine if you don’t want to show your face, the last thing you want is to be sending them to someone who might recognize you.

Another way to make contact online is chat rooms. They are relatively informal, and you can be talking to people almost from the moment you sign up, but they are not without their drawbacks. The first thing to realise is that there’s no way to know who you are talking to; it might be the couple of your dreams, but it could easily be a spotty teenager getting their jollies.

As I mentioned before, since you don’t know whom you’re talking to, never give out personal information. Always use nicknames, and never give out your home phone number, address, or passwords to sites. If you really want to give swingers a number, use a mobile. You have no idea who will see transcripts of the chat session, it’s amazing what information people will give out when they think it’s a private conversation, we’ve all done it. Over the course of a twenty minute conversation you can get names, rough addresses, phone numbers, sexual experiences and even photos, sexual or not. Be careful about any information you give out. Before you start chatting decide what information you are comfortable giving out, then write it down on a piece of paper, keep it in front of you and don’t give out anything other than what you’ve decided. It doesn’t matter how well you are getting on at the time, you don’t really know who you’re talking to, or what their motives are, until you meet face-to-face.

If you decide to send photos to someone you’ve been chatting to, make sure that they have your e-mail address right across the middle of them, if it’s a nude picture, make sure it covers the rudest bits and edit your face out of them. The reasons for this are twofold. First, it has been known for people to collect amateur photos in chat rooms for use on porn sites. The other reason is that people may use your photos when chatting to others and pretend that they are theirs: having your e-mail address across your photos stops both of these things from happening.

I think that it is important that if you are a couple, you should chat as a couple. Swinging is something you do as a couple and both partners should take an active role in the entire process from start to finish. The last thing you want is an argument because one partner has arranged a meet, or a phone call, and the other has had a hard day and it’s the first they have heard about it. Remember, swinging is something you do together.

Chatting on the net can be great fun, especially if you are new to it, just remember to be careful, think about what you want, and what information to give out, and do it together. Always be polite, don’t pester and if someone starts arguing with you they’re trying to get attention, just ignore them – don’t respond in any way.

Apart from advertising yourselves online, there are plenty of other ways to advertise if you don’t have access to the net. First and foremost, there’s this magazine, which is an excellent way of advertising. Writing an advert for a magazine is very similar to doing one for the net. The only difference is the amount of space you have to write your advert, as magazines are restricted to certain size adverts, whereas Internet sites often have no limit to the size of your advert.

You should make your advert as concise as possible, using common abbreviations to save on space. Just take a look at the adverts is this magazine to get an idea of what I mean. The same applies to photos in magazines as it does the Internet, adverts with photos get a far better response rate than those without, so make sure you include a good photo with your text. It’s important to complete the model release form that goes with your photographs as the magazine can’t print your pictures without the form.

As well as specific swingers magazines, the majority of local trade papers, such as the Loot and the Exchange and Mart, carry text-based adverts, and these have the advantage of massive readerships, so don’t rule them out as a way of making successful contacts.

The other major way of advertising offline is phone adverts, where you leave a message, and then other swingers ring up to listen to your message and leave their own in reply. Placing a phone advert is quite simple, but first you need to write your advert out. Don’t try to come up with something on the fly as it won’t come out right. When you get on the phone, read your advert out, speak clearly and sound confident. If it doesn’t sound right, just record it again.

Hopefully, after reading this, you should have a good idea how to advertise yourselves to meet other swingers. Next month, we’ll be covering organising your first private meet, so give advertising yourselves a try. Have fun and remember to play safe and always practice safe sex.

For more from Swingmag, check out their website below.

Have fun, luv Mel xxx